A Hart and a Bull walks into a bar
by Neacle
Summary: Various drabbles featuring Inquisitor Lavellan and Iron Bull, taking place at different times in the game
1. Injury

Injury

"You need to be more careful, my dear!"

"I know, I'm sorry..." Shalini sat on the edge of Vivienne's bed, with the woman in question tending to the nasty injury across her chest and shoulder. "But how would I know that bear would attack me first? For its size, it was incredibly fast!"

Vivienne scowled at that and gave her a light slap on the outskirts of the wound, which made Shalini yelp.

"It was the mistake made by an untested apprentice, not the Herald of Andraste!" She continued to mend the wound. "It's most unbecoming of you."

"You don't think I'm disappointed in myself?" Shalini grumbled. "I was lucky I rolled away in time when it pinned me down, if it had hit me-" She looked out the balcony opening and sighed, before Vivienne put a hand against her cheek lightly.

"Just be more alert next time, darling." She said and raised an eyebrow. "It would be unbelievably dreary here without you."

Shalini only laughed at that before once again thanking the First Enchanter for her aid. As much as Shalini was confident in her own magical skills, she shed no doubt that her friend was a better healer.

As she walked down the mainhall, she looked down at her arm and tried to lift it. Useless, as she suspected. Such a stupid mistake, such an incredibly stupid mistake. The great bears of the Emerald Graves were not to be trifled with, and she had not seen it coming, at all.

Before she knew it, the huge beast had knocked Cole to the ground and advanced on to her. It had all happened so quickly, she barely had time to summon a barrier before it had pinned her to the ground. All she could remember was pain and then the blurry sight of the bear standing up on its hindlegs. Right before it landed on her, she summoned all the strength she had and rolled to the side, but not before one of it's giant paws had hit her right shoulder and crushed her collarbone and parts of her shoulder, making the socket loose. The pain had been so strong she had lost track of what was going on around her. All she felt was icecold and burning hot knives stabbing her right side. She didn't remember much after that, until she had woken up back at Skyhold, with Vivienne at her side. She had reassured everyone that she would be fine, and had then shooed them away so she could concentrate.

Shalini neared the stairs to her quarters, before stopping for a moment. Should she perhaps inform the others that she was alright? But the keep was so big, with so many stairs... She groaned and then continued on her way. She could tell them after a quick rest. If they were worried they could always ask Vivienne.

After stopping every so often along the way up to her tower, she reached her room at last. And upon climbing the final set of stairs, she was met by a familiar scene which still made her heart beat a few paces quicker.

"Look at you, all fixed up and fresh." Bull rumbled and got up from her bed to walk over to her. "How you feeling, Kadan?"  
Shalini smiled and shrugged with her good shoulder.  
"Can't complain. I've walked out of the Fade. Hard to compare to that."

He hummed before grabbing her backside, lifting her up and carrying her the rest of the way. "True, but that shithole didn't almost crush your ribs and all the valuable parts underneath them." He put her down on the bed and knelt before her. "Luckily I rammed that beast before it had a chance." He smirked confidently at her.

"Lucky indeed." Shalini mumbled back and stroked a hand along his shoulder. "I can show you how much I appreciate it."  
He chuckled and gently lifted her hand away.  
"Trust me Kadan, as much as I'd like that, you need to rest." He stood up and met her disappointed glare.

"We can be careful." She complained and started trying to remove her garment. "Just- Just give me a second." She fumbled with her only good hand to try and unbutton the shirt, to no avail. Beside her, Bull only watched, biting his cheeks trying not to laugh.

"C'mon Boss, you can't even get out of your own clothes." He snickered and sat down beside her, leaning in close to her ear. "Tell you want. You get some rest now, and when you've healed, we'll tumble around as much as you want."

Shalini only whimpered at that and nodded slowly.

"I still need to get out of my clothes." She mumbled after a while. "Can you at least help with that?"  
He leaned back and appeared to be thinking very hard about it, much to her annoyance.

"I don't know." He drawled. "It was really funny watching you struggle."

"Mhmmm, very funny." She muttered and hit him in the chest, which only made him laugh.

To say that her right side hurt was an understatement. She winced when he carefully lurked her bad arm out of the tunic, and small tears stung in the corners of her eyes when she was forced to lift her arms to remove the shirt under. Bull was slow and precise in the ritual, and lightly put her arm back in the slung once her nightgown was on. The entire shoulder and parts of the upper arm and chest were a mixture of blues and greens and purples, making it look almost like the sky at certain nights, when the lights danced over Skyhold. Shalini took a comfort in that and gingerly brushed the bruises with her fingertips.

"Fenedhis..." She hissed and slumped further into the bed. "I've battled dragons, evaded an Archdemon, fought in the Fade! And then I'm almost crushed by an old, godsforsaken bear.

Bull shrugged at that and leaned back on his elbows beside her.

"You can't be perfect, Kadan." He gave her a wicked grin. "At least not at everything."

"Flatterer." She hummed and gave his jaw a light stroke, before laying down in the bed for real, crawling under the covers. Bull looked down at her with an unreadable expression before quietly clearing his throat.

"Seriously though, Boss..." He rubbed his forehead before slumping down close beside her, looking up at the ceiling. "I don't want to-."

Shalini hushed him at that and gently put her still functioning hand over his.

"I know..." She whispered. "Me neither..." 


	2. Krem de la Crème

Krem de la crème

Cremisius Aclassi considered himself a great many things, but blind wasn't one of them. In fact, he considered himself rather adept at spotting most people's intentions, most of it taught to him by theirs truly, the Iron Bull. Which made the situation Krem now witnessed all the more bizarre.

When the Chargers had first arrived at Haven, it was plain as day that the supposed Herald was infatuated with their charismatic leader, which wasn't anything unusual. Many people were drawn to Bull, so Krem wasn't surprised the petite little elf had become one of the many admirers the chief often got.

Admirers he often, and most enthusiastically, responded to. Yet there he stood, completely oblivious to the way their poor boss hopelessly tried to get him to open up, even throwing in some horrible attempts at seeming flirty. At first, she had just seemed generally curious to get to know the guy which she would fight beside with out in the field. But after a short couple of weeks, involving both battles and long nights in the Hinterlands, her generic questions had slowly started to lean more towards the direction Krem knew all too well. And someone, please bury him, was it painful to watch.

To be fair, the first time wasn't that bad, if maybe a bit awkward. The boss asked a generally valid question, which the chief chose to answer with a...less generally valid response. Krem could swear that the Herald went on her way that day a couple of shades darker than usual.

After that, it seemed she tried all the harder to get some sort of response, which the chief seemed to throw aside as soon as they were out. And Krem, couldn't for the world of it, understand why. The Herald was a pretty little thing, dark and luscious, efficient in battle and concerned for those around her. For suddenly being thrown into this position she didn't want, she took her role extremely well. So why this sudden disregard to her advances, or perhaps even blindness to it? It could be as simple as that the chief actually weren't interested, but that seemed terribly out of character, not to mention that Krem had heard a few people, one of them an actual sister from the Chantry, talking about having spent time with the captain of the Chargers.

And from the looks of it, the Herald had heard as well, seeing as she had been taking a walk with Krem, asking about the company and such, just as the sister had shared her activities to her companion. To say that she looked surprised was an understatement, and the walk back to the tent was a silent, awkward one.

She stopped flirting after that.

oOo

Then Haven was attacked, and the Herald believed lost in the avalanche. Commander Cullen together with a few soldiers had ventured out into the storm, desperately looking for her. And found her they did, almost frozen to death. Krem could swear he saw the chief looking considerably more at ease once they found out she was going to be alright.

oOo

After they had found Skyhold and settled in, Krem was surprised when Bull had decided to invite the boss, now Inquisitor, to have a drink with them. But not at all unwelcome, as Krem had talked with her before, and knew she was pleasant company. The chief had introduced everyone, and the evening had passed by smoothly and quick. The Inquisitor seemed giddy and energetic when she left, though that could simply have been the mead's doing.

"She didn't even lift an eyebrow." Krem mumbled through the tipsy haze. "Just nodded and went on wi' it."

"That she did." Bull mused beside him, resting on his arms against the table. "Sure is something, our boss."

oOo

When the Chargers hear the horn that tells them to pull back, Krem gets an uneasy feeling in his gut. And when he finds out that their leader's Tal-Vashoth cover no longer is just a cover, that uneasy feeling turns a hundred times worse.

Bull doesn't seem to mind though. For once, he seems more eager to discuss his current situation with the boss, which ends up with two assassins falling from the wall and down the mountain. The Inquisitor walked with him back to the tavern after that little encounter, and Krem can't believe his eyes. He actually can't believe he's hearing it. The boss was flirting with the chief. Again. And it's still as terrible as the first times. Krem can't handle it anymore. Something has to be done.

When the Inquisitor had left the tavern, going her usual round among the grounds, Krem got up from his usual spot and walked over to Bull with determined steps and stops in front of him. The chief actually looks surprised, maybe because of Krem's stern expression.

"Chief..." He began, and folded his arms. "I know you only have one eye left, but you can't possibly be this blind. You do know the Inquisitor is trying her absolute damnedest to flirt with you, right?"

Bull stared at him for a long time, before bending over, roaring with laughter. Krem only stared back, confusion most likely showing up on his face. After some time, the laughter finally dies down, and Bull looked up at him again, a huge grin on his lips.

"Oh, I know the boss is flirting with me." He chuckled and folded his arms as well.

Krem frowned at him and rubbed his forehead.

"Well, you better do something about it then!" He muttered. "Because my insides literally hurt every time I watch her try and fail."

Bull only chuckled again, and tilted his head to the side.

"Who said she was failing?" He asked, before standing up again, and without waiting for a reply, left the tavern.

oOo

Cremisius Aclassi considered himself a great many things, apparently being blind one of them, as he walked around the tavern, looking to train on one of the techniques Bull had shown him, and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the chief himself and the Inquisitor passionately kissing against the stonewall, the latter moaning so loudly that Krem had to turn around immediately, and as quickly as possible make it back to the tavern. He needed a drink. A really strong one.


	3. Eavesdropping

_This is ridiculous, _Cullen thought to himself as he stopped to rest after, only the Maker knew how many stairs. _One would think the original designer of this would place the main quarters a bit nearer the main building. _But of course the original designer had not payed attention to that crucial detail, and simply ignored Cullen's protests and muttering, so up he went again, climbing stair after stair until he finally reached the door which lead up to, surprise, another pair of stairs to the Inquisitor's room. How their leader had the energy to go up and down these monstrosities everyday was an unsolvable mystery.

Cullen opened the door and was just about to announce his presence when he was stopped by a loud and unquestionable moan.

"_Not so hard, Vhenan. You need to be gentler." _He heard the Herald giggle.

"_Trust me, Kadan, I'm trying. It's just so damn thick." _Bull rumbled back and the giggling continued.

What in the Maker's name... Thick? Cullen paled and stood frozen where he was, cursing his what would appear to be extremely bad timing. Not again! He covered his face with his hand and slowly shook his head. He had already seen more than he could take, and he was NOT about to add to it! When another load moan rang through his ears, the Commander seemed to snap out of his haze and quickly turned around, slamming the door behind him. Which they most likely would have heard, he discovered the minute he had done it, which meant they understood someone had been eavesdropping.

Cullen had never run down a couple of stairs that fast in his entire life.

oOo

"Did you give the report to the Inquisitor?" Josephine asked the minute Cullen rushed out into the Main Hall. She gave him a questioning look and tilted her head. "Commander?"

"Ehm, no!" He mumbled and straightened up, rubbing his forehead. "No, eh...the Inquisitor was...occupied."

The Ambassador immediately turned a few shades darker and looked down at her notepad, she too most likely remembering the last time they accidentally walked in on their leader's...activities.

"Well..." She began, and cleared her throat. "Then I suppose we will just wait."

"Wai' for what?"

Both of them turned around at the same time to see Sera nearing them at a quick pace.

"You looked like you were in a rush from Inky's room, yeah?" She smirked and wiggled her eyebrows. "Saw something you didn't wan' to see?"

Cullen only groaned and looked away.

"I didn't see anything Sera!" He muttered. "I left as soon as I heard-"

"Heard?!" She almost shrieked. "Wha' did you hear? Did you eavesdrop?"

"I wasn't eavesdropping!" Cullen began.

"I do not think that is any of our business to begin with." Josephine interrupted and gave Sera a long look.

"Oh, come on!" Sera whined, until she suddenly straightened up. "Wait...they're probably still doin' it! I'm gonna run up there! Ohhh, I need to tell Varric!"

"Now wait just a minute-" Cullen started, but the elf had already taken off towards Varric's usual spot. With a deep sigh, he stomped after her, once again cursing the way this day had turned out. When he neared the table, Varric was looking at Sera with an amused expression on his face.

"Not that I'm not curious, Buttercup." He chuckled. "But I'm not suicidal either, it's your ass though."

Sera answered him with a frustrated sound.

"Fine! Then I'll report back what I see!"

"Please don't..."

Just as Cullen was about to stop her, she was off again, laughing loudly, and before he knew it, she was through the door up to the Inquisitor's room. Josephine was quick to follow.

"I thought you would be quicker than that!" She called before she too was through the door. Cullen only grumbled in reply and ran after her.

oOo

"I can't believe we're doing this again..." Cullen huffed as he and Josephine ran up the stairs, Sera a few steps ahead. "Can't we just let her be and let Lavellan deal with her?"

"Cullen!" Josephine hissed. "She is our friend! Don't you remember how uncomfortable she got last time?"

"Please, don't remind me."

"Then you know that Sera would be a lot worse!" She answered. "I don't think Her Worship would appreciate her private life being spread across the keep."

"It's hardly private..."

"Cullen!"

"Yes, yes, you're right..."

They continued up the rest of the stairs, and when they finally reached the top they could see Sera standing outside of the door, her ear pressed against the wood.

"Ohhh, they're definitely shaggin'!" She giggled and quietly opened the door, and quick as a rabbit, sprinted up the last staircase, Cullen and Josephine close behind, frustration burning on their faces. Sera practically jumped up the last steps and with her arms in the air yelled "Busted!", before she stopped dead in her tracks, Josephine almost bumping right into her.

"I am so sorry Inquisitor, I tried to stop her-" Cullen begins to explain but stops as well when he looks over at the bed.

Inquisitor Lavellan was sitting cross-legged at the end of her bed, fully dressed and with one of Leliana's reports in her hand. Behind her was Bull, holding a comb by her long hair which she had let down from her usual knot. Both of them were staring their way, looking a little bit confused.

"I'm not so sure what you're sorry about, Cullen?" The Inquisitor still looked confused, if a bit amused. Sera only groaned and gave Cullen a mean look.

"They weren't doin' it at all!" She turned around and stomped down the stairs again, muttering. "You lying twat."

Cullen cast Josephine a look of despair before turning back to the Herald, his ears practically burning.

"Just a misunderstanding on my part, your Worship." He mumbled and slowly walked over to her. "Ehm, the report from Scout Harding. They're ready for you in the West."

She took the scroll and looked it over, pouting her lips.

"Wonderful, a desert." She drawled before nodding. "Thank you Cullen. Josephine."

"Your Grace."

The Ambassador smirked at him on the entire trek down the tower, while he only sneered back.

"You would have thought the same." He muttered, to which she only giggled.

"Whatever you say, Commander."

oOo

A few days later, Cullen were making his usual round among the training grounds, looking over the soldiers and their progress. He was just about done and prepared to make his way back to his quarters, when he was interrupted by a giant hand on his shoulder.

"Cullen!" Bull greeted and shook him, a wicked smile on his face.

"Bull." He answered, a bit uncertainly. "I assume everything is well?"

"Yes, yes, couldn't be better." He waved his hand. "What about you? Eavesdropped on anyone lately?"

Cullen froze and looked up at him with an annoyed expression.

"I was not eavesdropping!"

Bull only laughed and gave him a hard pat on the back.

"I got to say, Commander, you've got a dirty side under all that fur and armour." He grinned and started to walk back to the tavern. "Eavesdropping on our leader, thinking she's screwing around. You dog!"

He laughed as he left, leaving Cullen where he stood, a helpless expression on his face.

"I was NOT eavesdropping!"


	4. Herald of Seduction

"Atleast under the Qun, you don't get everyone tripping on each other's dicks while the country goes to crap."

Shalini only chuckled at that and folded her arms.

"You've got a way with words, Bull."

"I do what I can."

"Maybe we can find some other uses for that mouth of yours..." She purred and leaned forward slightly.

"Yeah..." He hummed, tilting is head to the side, and seemed to think. "When _is _the next meal, anyway? Orlesian food always leaves me hungry."

Shalini stared at him, speechless, until she sagged against the pillar behind her.

"Am I really so bad at flirting that you're not even noticing when I do it?"

He appeared surprised at first, but then he laughed and pulled her into his lap, grinning heartily.

"Awww, don't be sad, Kadan. I do notice." He cupped her ass and squeezed lightly. "But yeah, you kind of suck."

She pouted her lips and sulked, looking at him with big eyes.

"Well, I'm sorry." She muttered. "I don't have that much experience with seduction."

As the Keeper's First, Shalini had spent most of her upbringing and time to study and learning her magic. Because of that, she hadn't really had the time to make many friends, much less form romantic attachments. Oh, she had fooled around, but that required little planning and much less seduction than now, believe it or not.

Bull only snorted at her apparent predicament, and gave another squeeze, making her yelp.

"Oh, there's a difference between seduction and flirting, Kadan." He murmured, and smirked as she slapped a hand over her mouth, quickly looking around to see if anyone had heard her, painfully reminded that they weren't, in fact, alone. When no one seemed to react, she eased up and turned back to him, raising an eyebrow.

"And you consider yourself an expert?" She asked and tilted her head.

"Naaaah..." He shrugged. "But I'd like to say I'm an expert when it comes to _you._"

"Oh?" She folded her arms. "Do explain."

He moved his hands from her ass and let them rest around her waist instead, his thumbs making slow circles.

"Well..." He began and leaned back, but his hands stayed where they were, warmth seeping through her tunic. "Okay, when you flirt...I have no idea where you got those lines from, they're just...You want to seduce, but you end up flirting, which kind of just kills it."

"Yeah, okay, I get it. My flirting is horrible." Shalini muttered, a big frown on her face. "But I must have succeeded with something, right?"

"It wasn't your flirting, that's for sure..." He snickered, and she gave him a light punch.

"Come one, Vhenan." She pleaded. "Have I seduced you even once?"

He laughed out loud at that and Shalini felt her heart sink like a stone, but then his hands were on her ass again and he lifted her up so her forehead almost brushed against his.

"You, Kadan -" He growled. "- seduce me _everyday, _whether you intend it or not."

She swallowed, a small shiver passing through her body.

"Really?"

"Really." He smirked. "Except when you try to flirt, that's just horrible."

She snorted and punched him again, smiling as she did it.

"Okay, okay!" She laughed. "I get it!"

She rested her head against his shoulder then and they stayed like that for awhile, his hands occasionally fondling her bottom again. All Shalini could hear was the background murmur and clang of mugs and glasses, and when she put a hand on his chest, his strong heartbeat added an almost soothing noise.

After a few minutes of calm though, Bull straightened up a bit and cleared his throat.

"You know, Boss." He looked at her with a crooked smile. "I wasn't messing around with you when I said Orlesian food made me hungry."

She giggled, but didn't move her head to look at him.

"We can take something with us to the room." She mumbled. "Eat in bed."

"I like the way you think, Kadan." He rumbled and grinned down at her. "See? Now you're doing it again, wicked little seductress."

"I do what I can."


	5. Bad Blood

The first time Shalini kills a dragon, Bull is not with her. She doesn't quite know why she didn't take him with her that day, but she thinks it has something to do with the fact that they're lovers now, and she doesn't want to play favourites. Plus, she had no idea they would actually run into one of them that particular day. So she tries not to take his brooding that personal when they get back and Sera practically jumps into the tavern yelling about a "magnificent fight" and "it was absolutely amazing".

He seems to forgive her fairly quickly though, nibbling and nuzzling later that evening, mumbling about how good she smells, and how it makes his blood almost burn.

Shalini has no idea what he's talking about, she hasn't done anything particular to her scent as far as she knows, so she just goes with it. He's never been that hands-on and nose-in-her-hair before, so she happily rides the wave as long as it lasts.

After a long bath the next morning, the scent is gone much to his disappointment. It doesn't stop them though, and by lunchtime, Shalini has to take another bath. She really should have more self-control, she thinks. But then Bull starts to run his fingers through her hair in an attempt to untangle it and she thinks "screw it". Self-control is such an overrated thing anyway.

oOo

The second time Shalini kills a dragon, Bull _is _with her, and she doesn't think she has ever seen him that happy, which almost makes her a little jealous. At a dragon. Almost.

That jealousy is shortlived however, as Bull practically drags her away to an abandoned shed and tells the others to head back to camp. At first Shalini is mortified at his behaviour, but then he's bent down between her legs and she quickly forgets what she was even embarrassed about in the first place.

Apparently she has that scent again, and she cannot for the world of it figure out what it is. She doesn't smell anything, other than dirt and blood from the fresh kill, which is still lying almost right outside the shed they found. Charming. Then it hits her.

"Wait..." She mumbles and grabs his face, a small part of her extremely disappointed when he stops what he's doing and looks up at her. "Is it the blood I'm covered in that you smell?"

He seems to think about it for a moment, then realisation hits him and he snaps his fingers.

"Yes!" He nods quickly. "That's what it is! You still had dried blood on you when you came back that first time, and now we're both soaked in it, you smell extra nice though." He growls and grabs her ass, making her squeak. "It's like your entire body is roaring."

Now Shalini almost wishes she could feel this scent too, but she guesses that it's a Qunari-thing and maybe she wouldn't understand it even if she could smell it. She certainly isn't complaining though, especially when he gets back to matters at hand and yeah, her body is roaring alright, so is she.

oOo

Back at Skyhold, he offers her a drink which makes her wish she was dead, and tells her about the Qunari and dragons and old theories and bringing sexual pleasure, the latter which he had certainly done, she smirks. The rest is a little blurry, but she's pretty sure he complimented her breasts. Then everything goes black and numb. She's never drinking with him again. Ever.

oOo

The third time Shalini kills a dragon, it's actually planned. As much as one can plan to kill a dragon anyway. This time she left Bull out of it again, mostly because the thing she's after is a surprise.

Both Varric and Blackwall stares at her when she explains why, and Vivienne simply shakes her head.

"Darling, I'm sure Val Royeaux can supply you with all kinds of replicas for a simple tooth, do you really need to risk our lives for this little trinket?"

But it's not simply a 'little trinket' to Shalini, it's so much bigger than that. She wants to give this to Bull, to show him what he means to her. But she doesn't bother explaining that to Vivienne, she's not sure she would understand.

Of course, there is the risk that Bull will reject it, reject her. This is just good fun between them after all. Except it's not. Not for her, and maybe...maybe it's not for him either.

Then they hear the dragon roar in the distance, and Shalini takes a deep breath. Showtime.

oOo

"I don't even have to take a sniff to know what _you've_ been fighting, Boss..." Bull deadpans when she walks up to him back at the keep.

Shalini can't really blame him, she's covered from head to toe in dried dragon-blood, some small part of her insisting on not washing her clothes on the way back. At least she took a bath herself, or else Vivienne would have killed her on the spot.

"I have something for you." She mumbles and feels a little ashamed that she kept him in the dark, but he just smirks and pulls her to him.

"Really? Well, I think I've got something for you too." He rumbles and inhales. "Come on, _I'll _go first..."

Shalini is totally fine with that, especially when he scoops her up and carries her all the way up to one of the many rooms without breaking lip-contact once. Well, almost. He do like to burrow his face in her neck and hair. Even if she had taken a long wash, the scent lingers in those places he says. She doesn't really pay attention though.

oOo

_Kadan, _Shalini thinks to herself. _Kadan, Kadan, Kadan. _Over and over again until her brain has turned the word into gibberish. Then she starts whispering it, quietly, almost just mouthing it. She doesn't want to wake Bull, who is sleeping soundly beside her with his face half-burrowed in the pillow, one arm over her.

Despite the unfortunate run-in with her advisors, an event she was sure they wouldn't forget so easily, this had turned out to be one of the happiest moments of her life. The entire bed is in disarray, with her still bloody and dirty clothes spread across the room. Had she really killed a dragon again just the other day? And all for a tooth. No, it's so much more than that. _Kadan, _she thinks, and slowly turns around to face him. She lightly strokes his jaw, her fingertips catching on the stubble. _Kadan, Kadan, Kadan. _She smiles and puts her hand on his back. She can play this game too.

"Ma Vhenan..." She whispers and closes her eyes.

oOo

The forth time Shalini kills a dragon, it's actually an accident. They're just meant to study its behaviour for some professor that has taken up camp not that far away. He isn't that pleased with the result, although the fact that they got so close to the dragon is certainly impressive. Bull is happy though, so Shalini sees that as a small success. The professor even agrees to join the Inquisition. All in a days work.

Back at camp, Shalini is doing everything in her power not to die from the heat, the fact that she can't bathe doesn't really make it better either. Bull is on his back beside her, trying not to die as well most likely, if his deep breaths and the fact that he doesn't move at all is any indication.

"Why did you have to stand so close to the dragon, getting all that blood on you?" He mutters and glances at her. "Lying there all tempting, and I can't do a single thing about it."

Shalini chuckles lightly and turns to him.

"Maybe I did it on purpose, to get you riled up." She smirks.

He groans and frowns at her.  
"You evil woman."

Shalini is starting to think this whole dragonblood thing is turning into a powerful weapon.

oOo

A weapon she is starting to regret telling a certain someone over drinks.

Shalini isn't going to pretend that she and Sera has a lot in common. Shalini isn't very fond of the gibberish she hears every time Sera opens her mouth, and Sera isn't very fond of Shalini's overall "elfyness", but they make do. She is an excellent drinking companion. Except when she gets Shalini to talk about things she has nothing to do with, like the fact that Bull gets more hot and bothered than usual whenever Shalini smells like dragon.

Maybe she should stop drinking with Sera.

oOo

Yes. Yes, she should definitely stop drinking with Sera.

Bull is quickly climbing up the stairs to her quarters, with her over his shoulder, giggling like mad and lightly punching his back, telling him she can walk herself.

"No way, Kadan." He grins and continues on his way. "I like you just where you are."

Shalini only hums in reply and folds her arms over his shoulderblades, counting the steps as they climb stair after stair. When they've finally reached her room, Bull readjusts his hold of her and she end up in his arms instead, smirking up at him.

"Do I even want to know what you're planning?" She asks and strokes his jaw.

"That would kind of kill it, wouldn't it?" He answers before opening the door and enters.

They don't get very far, as both of them are suddenly showered by an entire bucket of what Shalini can only guess is dragonling-blood. She knew she should have expected trouble when she saw Sera jumping between the bodies on their latest trek, crouching and being all secretive.

She stares up at Bull and he stares back, until he breaks out in laughter and puts her down on the floor. Shalini isn't laughing though, and looks up at him with fire in her eyes.

"If you were helping Sera with this, I'm going to kill you, slowly." She pronounces every word carefully, and puts her hands on her hips. He only continues laughing but shakes his head.

"I wasn't, actually." He chuckles after a few moments and straightens up. "This is so much better than what I was planning though."

Shalini only grumbles and starts walking up the final stairs, removing her tunic and shirt as she does so, throwing them on the floor.

"Blood here and there I can accept, but an entire bucket?" She mutters. "I need a bath."

"You know the scent will linger, Kadan." Bull growls and stalks after her, unbuckling his belt.

"I'm counting on it." She purrs and removes the last piece of garment.

Dragonblood. Who would have thought?


	6. One Word

It's such a simple word, Katoh, and yet it settles upon the room like a heavy fog and for a moment Shalini thinks that she'll drown, she can't breath, she'll suffocate.

Then everything suddenly stops, the fog lifts and she opens her eyes to see Bull before her, resting on his calves as he softly strokes her legs in soothing patterns.

"I'm sorry-" She blurts out before she can stop herself, and he looks up and stares at her. "It's just that-". But he stops her and shakes his head.

"No questions asked, Kadan." He reminds her and brushes his fingers against her jaw. "You don't have to explain yourself to me, all I need to know is if you want to stop or not, nothing else." She nods in understanding, but he cups her face again and makes her look at him. "And you definitely don't need to apologise. Ever."

"I know..." She mumbles and lies down on the pillow again when he has let her go. "It's just- I just had this feeling like I should, I don't know..." She shrugs and curls to the side when he lies down beside her, his hands going directly to her hair, his fingers brushing through it. It has become a sort of ritual between them, the hairbrushing. He seems to like doing that a lot, and she isn't exactly complaining, so it stuck.

"Are you afraid I'll be disappointed?" He asks while working out some of the many tangles, and she shrugs again.

"Maybe?" She whispers and turns her head to him, looking for traces in his expression. When they had first started this, Shalini figured sex with Bull would be kind of like running wild and free in a huge, thick forest. Sooner or later, you're bound to trip on something and fall. You loose yourself a little bit, and don't think about all the little details among all that green and untamed beauty, which is kind of the point. She isn't supposed to worry and think about other things outside of this world once they've entered it, but what happens when she does? Has he failed then? Has _she _failed?

She doesn't notice the frown that has started to develop on her face until he brushes her jaw again.

"I will never be disappointed." His hand moves back to her hair. "I'm not going to enjoy something that you don't. If you don't like it, it kind of loses its touch, you know?" He chuckles and finally manages to brush the hair out completely, making it pool out over her pillow, and she sighs as some of the tension eases, not just in her hair. She takes a long look at his face, but all she sees is honesty and complete calm and suddenly the forest doesn't seem so thick anymore. The trees clear and maybe sex with Bull is more like an open field.  
"What happens if you don't manage to make me stop thinking about everything that's going on?" She finally asks and the silence that settles while she waits for an answer is endless and extremely quick at the same time. He blinks a few times before he chuckles.

"Well, Kadan." He starts. "Then we try again-" He puts her lips to her throat. "- and again-" Her collarbone. "- and again-" Her breast. "- and again..."

Okay, yes. Definitely an open field, with clear skies and fresh grass and no vines or roots that makes her fall. Just free and wild running. With one word to change it all. Such a simple word.


	7. Tough Love

Shalini count Josephine as one of her closest friends since this whole disaster started. And after they found Skyhold, they often spend many afternoons on Shalini's balcony, which she has slowly started to turn into her own private garden. It's nothing extravagant, merely pots here and there with flowers and bushes that stretches up over the stonewalls and rails, making it all seem wilder and greener.

It's on this balcony, among all the herbs and plants and flowers, that Shalini gets to hear about Blackwall. Or rather, she confronts the ambassador about it, eager to please her curiosity. She's noticed the flowers on Josephine's desk which weren't there before, and suspected she had a suitor. That it would be their so called "Warden" was something she would never have guessed however.

The entire situation on the other hand makes her extremely sad and once again she declares that she will never understand humans, and especially nobles.

When Josephine then tries to explain the whole deal with "la splendeur des coeurs perdus" Shalini understands even less.

"This doesn't make any sense, Josie." She says. "I've both heard and seen the romantic that lives in you, why couldn't you just forsake people's expectations and be with the man you obviously have feelings for?"

But of course, it's not as simple for a woman who's the head of her family, with siblings who are not fit to take over. Shalini supposes she can understand that, with her role as First of the Keeper. Certain responsibilities must come before personal wishes, no matter how much it hurts. For a moment Shalini almost feels lucky that she can be with whoever she chooses, no longer required to continue in her Keeper's footsteps. That victory came from the cost of her clan and family however, which leaves a sour and bittersweet taste in her mouth, and the moment quickly passes.

She turns back to Josephine and watches as she looks out over the courtyard, some of the soldiers sparring, Blackwall and Cassandra one of them. She hasn't quite forgiven him for the lie, and the way their blades clash shows it clearly. She's driven and ruthless in her swings, making it almost impossible for him to hit back. Shalini watches them as well before turning back to Josephine.

"You have a very gracious and true heart, Josie-" She says and smiles as the ambassador drags her eyes away to look at her. "- to be able to see past another's wrongdoings. I'm sorry it's like this."

Josephine's face turns a few shades darker and she nods, a sad smile on her lips.

"So am I..." She whispers and turns back to look out over the keep. Shalini's eyes stays on her however and after a moment she gives her shoulder a light shove.

"If you'd like, we can put together a few flowers from here and hide them in his quarters, it's not fair that only you should receive bouquets." She smiles playfully and Josephine answers her with a delight giggle.

"I'd like that very much." She says and smiles warmly. "Thank you."

oOo

Everyone has heard of Warden Commander Surana, the Hero of Ferelden. Some more than others, Shalini thinks as she leaves the tower after a long conversation with Leliana. She has many stories, and happily shares her tales about the woman she considers her best friend. It makes Shalini feel a bit better about her current situation, being an elven mage thrown into the position of leadership, with the world on her shoulders. She could learn a thing or two.

"Did you know that Cullen was a templar at the circle where she grew up?" Leliana asks one day.

She did in fact know that, but has yet to ask him anything about it. The Commander seems to loath his former life, and hasn't talked much about it at all, other than the horrible things that happened during the blight. Shalini doesn't want to trouble him further with mindless prodding, but perhaps questions about Surana will be harmless?

But of course, nothing is ever harmless.

"I attended her Harrowing, actually. She was a lovely woman."

Shalini can't help but smile playfully at him.

"Lovely?" She repeats.

And then she learns that the Hero of Ferelden was a close friend to some, and to others a reason not to be able to fall asleep when the night neared and one was alone with nothing but their thoughts and wishes. Wishes that could never be as it were, a templar and a mage, forbidden, even if she had felt the same.

But ten years is a long time, and it was a youthful infatuation, he says. But Shalini can see the strains on his face and the way his eyes drift downward whenever someone mentions her. And Shalini swears that if the Hero walked through those doors right at that moment, the Commander of the Inquisition would turn both heaven and earth to prove himself worthy of her.

But she isn't, and he won't.

And life moves on.

oOo

"I'm a better man for having met you, Kadan." He says as they lie sprawled out on the bed, sheets in disarray and bodies flushed. "I just hope this made things a little easier on your end."

And Shalini thinks that the world isn't fair that she has Bull yet so many other good people don't get what they wish for. And she looks at him and she can feel her heart swell and she thinks maybe this is it, this is how she'll die, overwhelmed with feelings.

"Not "this"_. You _made things easier on my end." She says and looks him directly in the eye, so scared, but she will do this. She knows what this is and she will honour it for everyone who can't have it but deserves it far more than anyone ever will. She takes a deep breath. "I love you."

And for a deepclenching moment she thinks he's laughing it off, and her swelling heart turns heavy and brittle. She looks away, shame written all over her features, until she feels his hand over her cheek. He looks at her, a tender expression on his face.

"I love you too."


	8. Just a hunk of burning love

It's not all about sex with Bull. It really isn't. They do other things as well, she swears. It's just that they're so damn good at it.

Shalini knows what some at Skyhold think, has seen the way some of the nobles look at her, whispering, giggling. The Inquisitor, it's not enough that she's Dalish, she's also taken one of them ox-men to bed.

She hates walking through the main hall with her head high likes she doesn't know or doesn't care.

That she is Dalish doesn't matter to her. She's proud of that, what they say or whisper about means nothing. It's when they talk or whisper about the people she cares about that she wants to set the entire room on fire.

Because it's not all about sex.

It's just that they're _so _damn good at it.

oOo

They're on her balcony, lying among the flowers and sheets they managed to drag out in their blinded passion. He's on his back with her on top, hands bound behind her back, eyes pointed up, taking in the sky.

One good thing with having your quarters in a tower is that you're not easily disturbed. The downside is that it's windy. Very windy. If she screams right now, she's pretty sure the entire courtyard will hear. Not that she has the focus to care.

One hand is between her legs, while the other is struggling to let her hair down, let the wind grab it and turn her into something wild and untamed. She's never considered herself any of those things, but he brings it out in her and she thrills in it. Her tangled thoughts are interrupted when he lifts her forward and oh- that's his tongue and Shalini thinks that _yes, soon she'll probably scream, _loud and clear.

And scream she does, with black curls whirling around her head and him breathing hard under her, rumbling in hunger.

They're not done yet, and she grins as she eases back downwards and her fingers touches what they can of his arousal in their locked state.

It's enough though.

Gods, is it enough.

oOo

He likes to nibble.

It's not often Shalini dresses herself without finding light teethmarks here and there, not to mention the places he's kissed.

He wasn't kidding when he said he liked her breasts during that drunken evening, so long ago and yet not at all.

She's flat and petite, not much to grab, but he loves it all. Plus, it's not the size, he says. It's what you can do with what you have. And by the gods does he do a lot once they get started. Shalini can barely keep still, the way his teeth are teasing her sensitive flesh, nipping, pulling. It leaves her red and pulsing and she writhes under him when he strokes featherlight touches after he's done with his mouth. It's so good that she thinks she'll stop function every time he does it.

When the heat has subsided, she stretches out on the bed like a pleased cat and that only makes him want to do it all over again.

oOo

She likes to scratch.

When her are arms aren't tied or held down, she runs her hands down his powerful back and when he enters she can't help it. Her nails are short and rounded, not much to fend with at all, but she digs in with all her might and sometimes, _sometimes_ she leaves his skin darker than when they began.

And she thinks he secretly enjoys it, the way he's not the only one leaving marks. Proof of their couplings. Souvenirs. Trophies.

oOo

_How can you still walk?_ Sera joked with her once.

Sometimes it's so rough and wild that she never _wants_ to walk again.

She's lying in bed, numb and heavy, aching in a good way, like all her energy is spent and gone, only to slowly be replaced with new. Like being reborn, she thinks. A new person, a clean one. Free of obligations, free of responsibilities, free of curses.

A new person.

That can't walk.

oOo

And sometimes it's gentle and warm and slow. With her thighs around his waist and her face burrowed in his neck, rocking together, drowsy and lazy.

She's running her hands over his scars. He's tracing her vallaslin with his fingertips.

Then they reach climax and the world stands still for an eternity and a second and everything is perfect.

oOo

Shalini doesn't think about it very often, but before her magical abilities manifested, she was to become a hunter for her clan. As part of that, she was an excellent climber. Very quick, very flexible. As the years passed on, she's started to rely less and less on it. Except for now.

Sleeping with Bull has many different outcomes. Always something new, but the fact that Shalini basically has the body and bones of a snake drives him absolutely insane every time. She's a quick runner too, faster than him. Much faster.

She's running up the stairs, ripping off her clothes as she does so, him advancing after her with a hungry grin on his face.

She enters her quarters and just as he's nearing her, she turns and jumps him like a lion, her legs around his body and he grabs her backside and lifts her higher, higher. Then her thighs are on his shoulders and she grabs his horns and holds on for dear life as he burrows his face between her legs.

She should definitely start honing her skills again.

oOo

"_Any stories?" _

"_Oh, plenty." _

Shalini knows she and Bull supplies enough ammunition for the gossip to only grow bigger. She knows she could just talk to them, address her displeasure. But somehow she imagines that will only make it worse. Like admitting everything they say is true.

Which it isn't.

Because it's not all about sex.

oOo

Sometimes it's quiet understanding and warm embraces when nightmares and monsters makes it impossible for him to go back to sleep. Memories plaguing his mind. Old fears resurfacing, only to return to the graves where they belong when she puts a hand over his heart.

oOo

Sometimes it's fingers through hair and soothing murmurs when the fact that her clan and family is dead won't leave her alone and she thinks she can't take it anymore. The burden becomes too great and she slowly starts to crack before he holds her together, carefully putting back the pieces.

oOo

Sometimes he joins her in the stables, cleaning his weapon or armour while she cares for the mounts, nothing but peaceful and calm silence between them.

oOo

Sometimes it's long nights with the Chargers, telling stories and having a good time. Slowly forgetting your worries and drinking away your sorrows.

oOo

It's actually not all about sex at all.

They're just so damn good at it.


	9. Girls just wanna have fun

Shalini considers herself and Vivienne as different as night and day, yet a strong friendship has formed between the two women, and it's not often one of them is seen without the other.

Especially now, when the ball at the Winter Palace is closing in, and Vivienne uses whatever means necessary to turn Shalini into a woman worthy of awe.

Cloths are purchased from Val Royeaux, measurements are taken, jewellery is tried on.

Shalini has never felt more like a doll in her life.

oOo

"Rich emerald green. Low cut. Corset, to bring about your features. Gold accessories!" Vivienne walks in circles around the Inquisitor, a finger over her mouth as she contemplates their options. "Or perhaps that lovely red silk, goes well with your markings. Long sleeves, a full drape."  
In the meantime, all the Herald does is sitting on the bed, looking absolutely lost.

Shalini really should dress better, Vivienne thinks. It's all about making impressions, to make people look and notice. And yet her friend insists on keep walking around in those rags she calls clothes and, she shudders, barefoot.

This ball is her chance.

"You're putting a lot of thought into this." Shalini remarks and shifts uncertainly. "Is it really necessary? Won't I wear the same as the others?

"The same as the others?" Vivienne repeats slowly, before she smiles viciously. "My dear, you're just not any other. You are the Inquisitor! The crown! You will enter the ballroom and turn heads!" She takes Shalini's hands and pulls her up. "Now, your hair."

oOo

When the fateful evening at last arrives, both Josephine and Vivienne is by the Inquisitor's side, flocking around her like a pair of hens. Pulling there, adjusting here.

Josephine is pretty sure that their leader never wants to attend another ball after this one.

"You look lovely, your Grace." She smiles and gives Shalini's hand a firm squeeze.

"Of course she does, my dear." Vivienne remarks and takes her other hand to spin her around. "Everyone will want to get to know you, you should expect quite many dances."

Shalini only grunts at that, her fingers fumbling once she has control over her balance again. Josephine puts a hand on her shoulder and gestures for the door.

"Shall we?"

They lead her down to the main hall, both holding her arms. She's never walked in heels before, she says, and so they bring her own shoes just in case.

The walk into the hall and Vivienne puts on a proud smile when she brings forth Shalini.

"Behold." She says and spins her around again. "Your Inquisitor."

The commander and the spymaster are both there, as well as Seeker Pentaghast. Both she and Cullen gives her an appreciative nod, while Leliana hides a warm smile behind her hand.

But it's Iron Bull's reaction that Josephine notices the most. The usually so talkative mercenary leader seems to be completely at a loss for words, simply staring, his mouth a little slack.

Shalini stares back at him, and the moment seems to drag on forever until Vivienne clears her throat and Bull finally seems to snap out of it. He gives her a grin and folds his arms.

"Looking good, Kadan." He rumbles and gives her a nod, the grin never fading. She smiles back warmly and looks down at her dress, dark red silk with thick golden gauntlets around her wrists and neck, with a black corset. Low cut, just like Vivienne said.

"Thank you." She says and then walks over to him, slowly dragging a hand over his clad chest. "You don't look too bad either."

Then she takes a hold of his arm and proudly heads for the door.

oOo

"You look absolutely stunning, darling." Vivienne says when Shalini makes her way over to her by the small tables. "Truly, what would you do without me?"

"Walk around in rags?" Shalini playfully replies, which earns her a triumphant smile.

"Indeed." She muses and wraps her arm around her own. "Let's walk together, it's unbelievably dreary standing on the same spot for too long."

Shalini can't really say anything against it, as she simply gets dragged along. They stride out to the main hall, some of the people there bowing, mumbling "_Madame de Fer" _and _"Inquisitor." _Vivienne vaguely nods back but pays them no further mind, while Shalini desperately tries to greet all of them back. A group of younger ones eyes her approvingly and the Grand Enchanter tugs her along when she notices her discomfort.

"I would not be surprised if almost every noble here asks you to dance tonight, my dear." She says when they enter another room. "You do remember the steps I hope?"

A heavy exhaustion claims the Herald's mind, and she tilts her head to the side and grunts lightly.

"Will I really have time to dance?" She asks.

"Why, of course!" Vivienne looks absolutely alarmed. "This is an ample opportunity! It would be foolish to waste it."

Shalini only sighs at that, and nods.. Vivienne gives her a long look, before she sighs too and pats her arm.

"At least one dance, alright?" She asks, a small smile on her lips. "Promise me that, darling."

oOo

"Any interest in a dance?"

Iron Bull looks at her for a long time before a chuckle escapes him.

"Oh, shit. The nobles would love that!" He laughs. "Can you imagine Josephine's face, trying to explain that we were..." His words die out quickly when he sees Shalini staring at him, her face a quiet and cracked mask. "Wait, were you serious?"

Before she can give him her affirmative, he straightens up and seems at once a lot more nervous than before, a sort of eagerness clouding his voice.

"Because if so, then yeah! Absolutely." He clears his throat. "I mean, once we stop the assassins and all that..."

His awkwardness awakens a warmth in her chest, and she smiles up at him.

"Good, I'll hold you to that." She discreetly takes his hand and gives it an affectionate squeeze, her eyes never leaving his. "I'll talk to you later Bull."

"Yeah." His playful demeanour is back in place and he gives her a confident nod. "I'll just stay here and eat."

oOo

If Vivienne had known that Shalini would have had to run around and fight at the end of the night, she's still pretty sure that the Grand Enchanter would have insisted on her wearing a dress.

As of now, running and fighting in one isn't quite as hard as she had first thought. Though the reason for that may be because she so far hasn't had to engage in close combat...and maybe because she's not wearing heels anymore.

Then the enemy escapes and the only way after is through the window and down.

"Great." Shalini says and gathers up the long cloth around her. "Here we go..."

oOo

Shalini doesn't think that she has been more relieved than now when she hears Bull walk out beside her after Morrigan's departure. She vaguely hears what he has to say about the cheesedip, and smiles faintly when he leans down next to her.

"How ya doing, Kadan?" He asks and gently bumps her shoulder. She smiles again and shrugs.

"Just tired." She says. "Tonight has been...very long."

He hums and leans back a bit.

"Least we got to the end of it alive. That's more than some can say."

"True." She gives him a bitter chuckle and smiles lightly, picking at her gauntlets. He smirks back and bumps her shoulder again.

"Never thought I would get to see someone in a dress beat the shit out of someone." He leans in and presses his face against her neck. "Made my blood pumping."

That brings her out of it a bit and she snorts and punches him in the chest.

"What, you want to lift up my skirts and bend me over?" She asks, her voice sultry and playful.

"Something like that." He breathes up her neck and jaw, earning him a pleased sigh.

"I'm pretty sure they would throw us out and never let us return." She whispers. "Even if we did save the Empress."

He laughs at that and leaves her neck alone, much to her disappointment, even if she knows she's right.

"We can't have that, can we?" He muses. "We always have your room later..."

"That we have." She smirks. "Just promise to be careful with the dress, and I'll let you do whatever you want once we're back..."

Bull only smiles at that, but the look he's giving her shows a hunger she knows all too well. The urge to head home suddenly increases tenfold.

"Cullen's giving orders now." He says and smirks. "We're just about good here."  
An almost childlike glee fills her and she's just about to straighten up and head for the door in when he stops her.

"But first-" He starts and she stops and leans back, a questioning look on her face. "The music's finally got enough of a beat to dance to." He bows a little and holds up his arm. "I did promise you, Kadan."

Right, the dance. Shalini's heart skips a beat and she can feel her cheeks heat up. In the rush of things, she'd completely forgotten all about it. But he hadn't. Filled with a glowing warmth, she gives him a broad smile and adjusts her gauntlets before taking his arm.

"I'd love to."


	10. Let Me Down Gently

When she'd been nine years old, Shalini's magical abilities had manifested.

In a fit of anger and fear, she's taken deep to the woods, after accidentally having set fire to one of their aravels.

Hidden by the shadows and the trees, she'd climbed up an old oak, ignoring the callings of her name and burrowing her face in her arms, shutting down the world around her.

On that day, Shalini had witnessed her first act of mistrust towards humans, as late at night, hidden among the branches and leaves, she'd seen two soldiers drag one of her clansisters by the hair behind them.

She'd trespassed, they said. This part of the forest was owned by a family, and part of their villa. They'd yanked her down on the ground, her throaty pleas echoing through the woods. One of their children were missing, she objected, holding up her hands as if to shield her face.

They didn't believe her, and then a hard kick knocked her down on her side, a painful grunt leaving her mouth. When a second kick made her leg crunch, it seemed as if something snapped inside Shalini and with a loud yell she screamed out, and as her sister slowly opened her tearfilled eyes, she could see that the two soldiers lied on the ground, their bodies frozen in sharp and uneven blocks of ice, their faces contorted like ghouls, mouths open in silent screams.

Shalini had climbed down the tree so quickly that her hands and knees bled from the bark, running to her clanmember, her eyes teary and her nose runny, yelling "Lethallan, Lethallan!"

Suffice to say, Shalini stayed good and obedient after that, never leaving her Keeper's side, her hands shaking and her body growing cold every time they stopped near a human settlement.

Her clansister's leg never quite healed after that.

oOo

An elf is the Herald of Andraste.

Shalini wants to laugh out loud.

She's not surprised that the Chantry is against this Inquisition, especially with her as their face.

She wants to help, she really does. But a chill slowly creeps up her spine as she walks through Haven, nothing but humans and the occasional dwarf and non Dalish.

Then she meets Minaeve, and they spend long hours talking about animals and nature, despite the researcher's bad blood with her former home.

Josephine is warm and friendly. She grows to like her quickly despite herself. Cassandra is hard, a pleading behind her iron stature, but sure and steady. When things feels unsure, she can turn to her for guidance. Leliana asks for things she cannot give. She does not speak for the Maker, she does not believe in the Maker. Cullen awakens a quiet burn and longing she didn't know she could feel for a human man, which makes her scared and cold, so she discards it and locks it away.

She's surrounded by humans that surprises her, makes her uneasy to be thrown into all this. This has nothing to do with her, she tells herself. She should just leave, but she knows she's doing the right thing, she could never abandon them. This threat affects everything, her clan would be no more safe far away from the Breach.

She knows this.

Yet the looks people throw her way makes the chill run deeper through her body. Makes her straighten up when she walks among them. Makes her hard. Makes her sharp.

oOo

Bull is not human.

Shalini thinks that the people around them throws him even dirtier looks than they do her and the elves.

She doesn't know enough of the Qun and their lives to really have an opinion, plus the Iron Bull is so unlike any qunari she has ever heard of that judgement is extremely hard to have.

Her attraction is immediate. It almost scares her how much he makes her nerves stand on end.

Indeed, he is neither elf nor human, and she finds herself dreaming about dragging her hands over his horns, his shoulders, his arms.

How would it feel, she wonders.

The few men she's been with were lean and soft, with wiry muscles and long bodies. Bull is everything she has never had, and never thought she wanted, and maybe the fact that he too, is a bit of an outcast here, makes the attraction all the more real.

oOo

"Kadan."

His voice settles like a heavy blanket over her dark room, dying as they reach Shalini's still form. He can call all he wants. She hides her face in the pillows.

"Kadan..." He says again, getting nearer the bed. The frames are cold and wet, splotches and bumps of ice covering the wood. "Kadan, look at me."

He sits down beside her. She feels a hand over her head but she remains unmoving as he starts to run his long fingers through her curls. Her body reacts like it always does, a pleasant shiver traveling over her scalp, yet her mind is cold and empty. Slowly she lets him turn her head to him, but it might as well be like turning a husk, like she's watching it all from the outside, hovering above them. He runs his thumbs over her cheeks and under her eyes, red and swollen from crying.

"My family is gone..." She says before she can think to stop herself. Her face is completely still as she says it, her eyes heavy and cloudy. Bull only nods, his hands still around her head.

"Yes." He says.

"My clan is gone."

"Yes."

Her lip starts to tremble at this, and slowly her face turns into a twisted grimace, her teeth biting down and her eyes only thin lines. No tears are coming. She must have cried so much no more will come, yet it still burns.

"I can't do this..." She says, her voice shaky and low. "I can't..."

"Yes, you can." His voice is clear but careful, a quiet reassurance. She shakes her head violently and grabs his hands to shove them away. He lets her.

"I chose wrong!" She hisses. "If I'd listened to Cullen...If I'd listened to him they'd still be alive now!"

"You don't know that, Kadan." He says, and she snarls at him and tries to push him aside, yet he stays his ground beside her.

"I made the wrong choice!" She screams. "I killed my family and the- and the world's fate is depending on me!" She shoves her small fists against his chest, again and again. "I'm going to get them killed too!"

He says nothing and simply lets her continue hitting him, and for a second Shalini wonders in her rage if he's unsure what to do. What they are...He has never had anything like this before, and suddenly she's struck by the fear that he's going to think it's too hard, it's too much effort. In an instant she stops hitting him, her hands trembling and her breathing shaky.

"Don't go..." She whispers, her eyes desperately searching for his. "Don't go, don't go..." When she sees him, the look he's giving her seems almost chocked. Then he cups her face again and pulls her closer, pressing their foreheads together.

"I won't."

oOo

"People are just people." Bull said one time when she argued about freedom and choice.

And the more she thinks about it, the more she believes it can be applied to more than just what one does.

As she stands here, the Inquisition at her back, and the ruins of Haven before her, a sort of calm accomplishment fills her.

She's the Inquisitor, the people behind her her home. A home she intends to go back to.

Vivienne lays a hand on her shoulder, Cole takes a gentle hold of her arm, and lastly Bull pulls her to him and lifts her up, kissing her passionately. He tastes like thunderstorms and rain, the kind she'd found him in the first time she'd laid eyes on him. With wild eyes and swollen lips, he puts her down again and grins.

"Let's go kick this son-of-a-bitch back into whatever black hole he crawled out of."

She gives him a confident nod, before she turns to look out over the ruins once more. The Breach releases a violent roar and her palm thrums.

She takes a deep breath.

She steps forward.


End file.
